Back to Blog
Life Coaching
July 24, 2026
19 min read

What Are We Supposed to Be Getting Out of Life?

The question is backwards. People ask what they're supposed to get out of life as if life is a container to fill. But the thing people are actually looking for isn't something you get from life. It's a quality that emerges when the mind stops fighting the present moment.

Scott Friedman — Leadership Coach & Life Coach, Ventura County CA

Scott Friedman

Leadership Coach & Life Coach · Ventura County, CA

40+ years of daily meditation · 13 published books

Key Takeaways

  • The question 'what am I supposed to be getting out of life?' treats life as a transaction — and that framing is the problem
  • The quality people are looking for (peace, meaning, contentment) isn't something life delivers; it's what emerges when the demanding mind quiets
  • Achievements produce temporary spikes, but the mind normalizes and returns to its baseline — no achievement sustains the quality
  • Two people in identical circumstances can have completely different experiences — the difference is the mind, not the circumstances
  • The answer isn't another goal to chase; it's seeing that the looking-for-something mind is itself the block
Scott Friedman — Leadership Coach, Life Coach, Ventura County CA

About the Author

Scott Friedman

Scott Friedman is a life coach, leadership coach, and thought coaching practitioner based in Ventura County, CA. He has maintained a daily meditation practice for over 40 years and has authored 13 books on conscious living, thought coaching, and personal development.

His coaching model is radically different: you pay nothing upfront. At the successful conclusion of coaching, you pay what you think it was worth — and what you can afford. He works with clients by phone or video throughout Ventura County and across the country.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Book a Free Discovery Call With Scott

Zero cost upfront. You only pay at the successful conclusion of coaching —

and only what you think it was worth.

Book My Free Call
✓ No sales pitch✓ Phone or video✓ Pay after results✓ 40+ years experience